Young & Punchy-Transcript
Sofia: Hey! You know Jon from my office, the guy who built his own motorcycle?
Gabi: Oh yeah is he out of hospital yet?
Sofia: No, no. But his husband is a manager of the petting zoo and he offered us a job.
Gabi: Okay. A I have a job and B I'm alergic to goats. So I'm gonna have to say neeee.
Sofia: Well A that's the sound that horse makes. And B the petting zoo is a cool new bar and they need new shot girls for Saturday nights. So all we have to do is wear cute outfits and get guys to drink like we do on weekends anyway but now we'll get paid!!
Gabi: I don't know it sound like a sexist why don't you just throw us back to the fifties where women were stuck in the kitchen slaving way for their man. (a oven alerts) Oh Josh's apple pie is done.
Sofia: So you're saying you don't want to do it?
Gabi: No I told you it's degrading.
Sofia: Pays five hundred each.
Gabi: Saturday you say?
Yolanda: Look at this one. It's black and huge.
Elliot: Wow where would you even put something so big?
Yolanda: Ahhowhoa. I'd make room for that.
Josh: Guys put the bath tub catalogue down. .. I've already picked up the tub for upstairs and before you ask no you may not. It's surprise for Caroline she's gonna be the first one to use it.
Elliot: Don't worry Yolanda you're gonna be the first one to clean it.
Josh: All right Eliot what's our game plan for Cooper Finley?
Gabi: OO. What's a Cooper Finley? Is it a car cna I have one? Cause mine is mostly duck taped.
Elliot: Cooper Finley is a hacker that broke into Josh's app and forced it offline for two days.
Gabi: I went offline for two days but that's because my neighbors changed their WiFi password. ...... What are you going to do to him?
Josh: He left me no choice. ....I'm gonna hire him.
Gabi: Whoaa.Oh yeah that would show him. Force him to work with Eliot everyday. Josh: This kid is brilliant. He's only 23 years old and he created this fuzzy logic Ipatch that I can develop in soft more tehnolocy in piggy off other signals creating conection ten times more stable.
Gabi: I made you a pie.
Josh: I have to act fast in six months Yahoo and Facebook will be all over this kid. So how do I inpres an abrive hacker?
Elliot: Well just spitballing here. But I'm thinking white limousine, bottle of bubbly, smooth jazz and as he signs the contract a single red rose falls from the moonlight.
Josh: Yeah I'm trying to sign him not take him to the prom.
Gabi: If you want my too sense withc is all I have in my bag account. I'm thinking girls, boobs
Gabi: No that's it girls boobs. Hey why don't you guys take him to the petting zoo it's this hot new bar me and Sofia are working on saturday.
Josh: Since when do you work in a bar?
Gabi: Since I found out parking tickets are triple when you don't pay them. Come I'll get you guys on the VIP list.
Elliot: Oh please you think that 23 year oldcomputer genious's gonna work for you because some half naked girls shake their buties in his face?
Josh: Saturday you say?
Sofia: See this isn't demeaning.
Man: Here's fifty baux keep on coming.
Gabi: More like demazing.
Josh: Pretty cool place ha? It was not easy getting us on the list.
Cooper: Really? Why? All you have to do is by pass thir fire wall hack their server and put your name in the inplay database. How did you do it?
Josh: I asked a girl I know. Hey Gabi!!!
Gabi: Did someone koala my name?
Josh: Gabi this is Cooper, Cooper Gabi. She works for me.
Cooper: You have your own shot girl. Wow you are rich.
Josh: And you could be too, how would you like to come work for me?
Cooper: What? Are you offering me a job?
Gabi: Yeah he thinks you're higly koala-filed.
Josh: Stop doing that.
Cooper: Haha you're funny.
Josh: Keep doing that.
Gabi: Who wants dome al-koala-hol?
(gives them alcohol) -(scene a few minutes later)
Gabi: What are you doing in there?
Sofia: Hey piggy is on a break, he went wewewe all the way to the bathroom.
Josh: So Coop are you gonna come work for me or what?
Cooper: Notmally I would say I'd never go main street and go work for a rich sellar but now I'm saying hell to the easy.
Gabi: Oh let's capture this moment.Oh shuit is doing that thing again.
Josh: Gabs I told you to take is to the genious bar.
Cooper: Well lucky for you we're in a bar and I'm a genious.
Josh: I alredy tried there's nothing you can do.
Cooper: Well maybe there's nothing you can do but we both know that your code is not ecatlly elegant.
Josh: My code is so elegant is summers in the south of France.
Cooper: Oh is that the new vacation spa for substanderd programing. ......(to Gabi) all fixed.
Gabi: Wow Josh look COoper fixed my phone and he set my home screen into a koala.
Josh: Substandard? That's funny why didn't you mention that when you did a cover story for me? Cooper: oh weird that county hage magazine that still prints their copies on paper. (spills Gabi)
Gabi: Oh shuit.
Cooper: I'm so sorry. My hand my cordionation is sibirly compromised.
Josh: But your hand boob cordination is dead on.
Cooper: Take it easy dad I'm just trying to help her.
Josh: Oh c'mon Coop back off.
Cooper: What's your problem?
Josh: Hey hands off.
Cooper: Hands off me.
Josh: (Josh punched him)
Gabi: Oh my god Cooper are you okay?
Cooper: I'm fine.How do you fel you've just hit a smaller guy with glasses and inimia.
Josh: Aggg, I'm so hung over I hear pounding.
Yolanda: Relax baby we all hear it it's the man working on your thub.
Josh: Oh tnx for the ice tea.
Yolanda: It's not for you. I'm working on the man working on your thub.
Gabi: Hey Josh I made you a pathed hang over helper.
Josh: Ah, Just looking at it it makes me sick.
Gabi: Good I'm starving.
Elliot: So in regarts what happened last night, Gabi made this cute Star Wars appology treats for Cooper. Gabi: Just I think of them too Schubaka..
Elliot: All you have to do is sign this card and we can send it right over.
Josh: May the force and my apology be with you. I'm not signing this. He was acting like a doosh.
Elliot: A doshy genious.
Josh: Look I don't care how much money is out of state.
Elliot: A billion dollars
Josh: Isn't Gabi's honor....
Elliot: Can't believe Josh. Throwing a huge business deal over nothing. I could really use a soke.
Yolanda: Oh no you don't. Josh was very clear no one has to use this thub till Caroline gets back. Now let's get out of here before one of us does something stupid.
Elliot: You first.
Yolanda: No you.
(they slowly togetehr leave)
Gabi:Cooper is Gabi. I'm making a hose koala!.
Gabi: Hi. How's your chin?
Cooper: I don't know I don't have a healt insuarance. Web andim says I might have a blind deasase. What are you doing here?
Gabi: Oh I'm delevering this marshmallows treats from Josh. He made me shape them into little A-rtos and D-toss to say I'm sorry for impire strating you. Back.
Cooper: Great I can't wait to be able to chew them. Wanna come in?
Cooper: Sorry it's such a mess.
Gabi: Listen Josh wants to appologise for all that fist bump in the face and have you over for dinner tonight.
Gabi: Yeah why does it sound made up cus it's not.
Cooper: Actually I'm the one that needs to appologise to you. I remember spilling something trying to clean it up. Touching a part of you.
Gabi: Yeah actually two parts.
Cooper: I'm really sorry. I was thinking about it last night and I wanted to make it up to you, so I bought you something.
Gabi: Oh you didn't have to get me anything.
Cooper: Got you a counmain name. Bongabetit. You're gonna need a website when you're gonna be a famous chef some day.
Gabi: Oh my god I always wanted my own dot com. That's so. Wow nobody has never done anything like that for me.Listen Cooper you and I are not very that different.
Cooper: Well that's true. We're both in carv life baseforms.
Gabi: Okay maybe a little different. But you know we're noth living our dreams. I wanna be the next Julia Child and you wanna be the next..... Cooper: Computer visionary genious Bartik.
Gabi: Yeah him.
Gabi: Her. They only difference is I'm alredy living my dream, I'm working for this great guy who believes in me and the same guy believes in you too so come over for dinner tonight and let him appologise. Cus Cooper I mean this in the niccest posible way what else do you have going on tonight.
Cooper: Good point.
Gabi: Oh look who's finally up. You must be feeling better.
Josh: Can't wait to eat I'm actually excited for whole food down.
Gabi: Good because we're having company.
Josh: We are?
(door bell rings)
Gabi: Yes and now it would be a gret time to tell you that it's Cooper. Don't get mad he's here to appologise, for what happened the other night and I'm sure you have a lot of questions that can be answer by..... Cooper.
Cooper: Hey Gabi. .....Josh. I just wanna say I think is very big of you that you invite me over here in person to appologise.
Josh: I didn't invite you over here.
Gabi: Who's hungry?
Cooper: You're not gonna appologise to me?
Josh: Are you out of your mind?
Cooper: Probably due to the brain damage when you've punched me in the face.
Gabi: Hey, hey hey, everyone is gonna feel a lot better when they eat my delicious Nachos!!! Thada Nachos.
Cooper: This whole thing was a set up?
Josh: Gabi did you actually think you can trick him into coming here , not tell me and everything will be okay because you've made Nachoss!!
Gabi: Little bit.Guys just appologise, okay it's not that hard.Watch. Cooper I'm sorry I tricked you for coming for dinner. Josh I'm sorry I tipted you courbet.
Josh: You've what?
Gabi: Let's just stay on track. Cooper you've got drunk and you've touched some stuff and Josh you've got drunk and you've punched some stuff.
Cooper: Look Josh I don't remember what was said. But obviously it was bad enaugh for you to punch me so for that I'm sorry.
Gabi: That would so.Josh.
Josh: Appology excepted. I'm sorry I punched the glasses of your face.
Gabi: Good enaugh.Now for the good part. Nachos!!
Cooper: So Josh I was wondering is that job offer still on the table?
Josh: Well my gut told me to hire you in the first place and I always go with it the offer stands.
Cooper: Oh really? Yes.
Gabi: Oh my god my nachos are magic.
Cooper: Thanks for going with your gut man.
Josh: Hey man you've gotta listen to it. It would never stear you wrong.
Cooper: Well I'm gonna take an advice on that one boss. Gabi would you go out with me?
Gabi: Wow. Cooper you're super cute and sweet but I'm kind of on the spot here.
Josh:Let me help her to be out of here. I know Gabi and I think what she's trying to say is.. Josh: no. Gabi: Yes.
Josh, Gabi: What?
Josh: Emm. Coop would you mind taking those nachos on the terace just for a minute.
Gabi: Okay. Why did you say I couldn't go out with him?
Josh: I'm about to get in beat with him in a business deal if you actually get in bed with him this could be a disaster.
Gabi: Why are you being so negative?
Josh: Becuase I remember this one ime when someone from this appartment slept with someone she worked in this apartment, it was super awkward and it was us.
Gabi: Josh that was so last month.Okay what we had is totally different.
Cooper: Can I get something to drink?
Gabi: Absolutley. This is just a first date okay he's kind of cute and kind of funny and I kind of wanna say yes.
Josh: Well I'm putting my foot down.
Gabi: Okay I think you're beign a little un... Here you go.... risable about this.
Josh: They answer is no.
Gabi: Fine. I men not fine. But you'r my boss and I have to respect that. So I will not go out with him.
Josh: Thank you.
Cooper: Guys it's really cold out here.
Gabi: Who made up this rule that you can't date anyone you work with?
Sofia:Thousands of companies all accros the country.And how do you even know you like Cooper? YOu've just met him.
Gabi: I know. It's so weird he was just this computer guy , but all of the sudden he was sweet and thoughtful and he bough me a dommain name. And now I have this whole feeling on the inside.
Sofia: Well let me cruch it for you. One hundred procent of your relationships have failed.
Gabi: I know and I just wanted to chancle at this one fail too.
Sofia: Okay so you clearly need to get this out of your sistem, so I got it, go on a date with him and instead of being all fake and charming like most couples are on the begining. Tell each other all your worst qualities. Nothing kills a relationship like honesty.
Gabi: Oh my god that's brilliant once you get to know the real me you just run behind the hills.
Sofia: Just like all the others.
Gabi: Nail did.
Gabi: Okay so we're here tonight to find out that we don't like each other.
Cooper: Ok I understand quntium physic but this is confusing. What if we do like each other?
Gabi: Oh we won't.
Cooper: But on the offchance we do?
Gabi: We'l deal with that later. S let's get this train track started. I'm gonna tell you something about me that you're gonna hate.
Cooper: Okay go for it.
Gabi: Em, I talk a lot I don't know I have a sort of nervous habit I've done that since I was a little girl I just kind of go on and onn.
Cooper: I get it.But I have to say it's really cute.
Gabi: No you're not supposed to like it.
Cooper: Okay so how about I tell you something horible about me?
Gabi: Okay bring it.
Cooper: I can'te remember the last time I washed these jeans might never have.
Gabi: I liked the ounder of donuts and put them back in the box.
Cooper: I have a suit of armer.
Gabi: I have a fake facebook account where I am a cat.
Cooper: I think there's a sixty procente chance we're living in a maintress.
Gabi: Damn it this is going really great. Okay I have to think of something horible. Wow. yay I'm so irresponsible I forgot to pay my eletric bill.
Cooper: Can I tell you something?
Gabi: Only if it's bad.
Cooper: It is. Now that I know all of these horible things about you I like you even more.
Elliot: Why are you reading the owner's manual for the new thub?
Yolanda: So I know how to clean.A combination of fourteen poulse and rotaten and directional jetts. Keep walking nothing to see here.
Josh: Hey Coop thanks for coming by.
Josh: I'm just about to get to my morning run but I'm gonna get your contract for yaa. It's exciting.
Yolanda: Wait, how long are you runing for today?
Josh: Ten miles.
Yolanda: Haaha.. What's that in minutes?
Josh: Emm About ninghty minutes.
Yolanda: Wow that's inpresive.
Gabi: (to Cooper) Hey Cooper we should probably talk about
Cooper: I know.
Gabi: Listen I really think that it's not a really good idea for us to date. Cooper: Oh dang god I totallly agree.
Gabi: What I thought you liked me?
Cooper: Like you? I hacked into the power company and pay your eletric bill.
Cooper: This job is a huge opportunity. I just don't want to blow it.
Gabi:Oh I get it absolotley.
Cooper: It's the right thing to do.
Josh: Big mistake, I totally forgot your contract in my car I'll got get it for you.
Cooper: It's a excatly two minute ride from elevator to the car.
Gabi: Why are you telling me this? Oh yeah. (they kiss)
Elliot: Josh where are you?
Josh: Yolanda are you getting in that thub?
Yolanda: Josh what are you doing in your bathroom?
Josh: What are you doing in my bathroom?
Yolanda: There's a really good reason why I'm in here. I was about to clean it for Caroline. Why do you think is field with the bubles?
Josh: So why are you in a rope?
Yolanda: In case I fall in. Think!
Josh: Well I need you downstair.
Yolanda: Okay fine I'll be down in 45.
Gabi: Okay this is getting to complicate. there's only one thing we can do.
Cooper: Keep dating and not tell Josh?
Gabi: You're a genious.
Yolanda: Okay Josh have a safe trip. I'm leaving now. Bye bye. (to the thub) and hello.
(downstairs Elliot talks to Josh)
Elliot: Hey Josh have a good flight. I'm leaving now. Night night. Bath thub app here we go. Music on, moonlightning on. Water hot hot hot.
(goes into the bathrrom, goes into the thub wehre he sees Yolanda)
Yolanda, Elliot: Aaaaaa.
Elliot: Yolanda what are you doing here?
Yolanda: What do you think I'm doing?
Elliot: Well you have to get out.
Yolanda: Hell no.I was here first. You get out.
Elliot: I'm not moving.
Yolanda: Neither em i.
Elliot: Are these vanilla bth sauls?
Yolanda: Vanilla peach. Is that champagne?
Elliot: (gives her champagne)
Yolanda: To never telling anyone about this.
Elliot: Cheers to that.
End of the episode
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